There will come a day when your toddler will experience a major meltdown in the form of a temper tantrum. Hopefully, the first time it happens won’t be in public either. If you’ve managed to avoid them so far, it’s inevitable that your child will face a buildup of emotions that will manifest in an explosion of distress. Let’s take a closer look at what temper tantrums are and how to tame them.
What is a Temper Tantrum?
A temper tantrum is when a child is not able to effectively communicate their feelings of frustration, anger, and confusion resulting in physical distress. Children having a tantrum might kick, cry, scream, and arch their backs among other things. Usually children start having temper tantrums when they are about 1-3 years old.
Why Temper Tantrums Happen.
There’s a lot of social and emotional development happening with children at this age. There are things that they want, feel, and need, but lack the ability to express them with words. Frustration builds and all of a sudden you have a tantrum on your hands. As unpleasant as they may be for you and your toddler, they are a part of normal development.
Diffusing Temper Tantrums.
It’s always a good idea to keep tantrums from happening when possible, but every parent knows they can’t always be stopped. Here is how to try and help prevent and diffuse them if they do happen.
- Pinpoint Triggers. If you know the cause of the tantrum, it’s much easier to stop it before it starts. If you know they get cranky when they are tired or hungry, schedule naptimes and have snacks in between meals. If they’re prone to getting irritable when they get restless, plan to do an activity they can put their energy into.
- Prevent Overstimulating Situations. When children are exposed to too many things at once, especially if it’s new to them, it can be a bit overwhelming. If you sense this happening, remove the object or change the environment causing the overstimulation. The less they have to process in their head, the less overwhelming everything will seem.
- Recognize their Emotions. Adults don’t like being told when they’re overreacting and neither do children. Children are at a crucial time in their life where they are learning to be independent and have control in situations. Acknowledging your toddler’s feelings makes them feel seen and heard. Helping them understand their emotions and talking to them about why something is or isn’t ok will help sharpen their future communication skills.
- Create a Consistent Environment. Lack of consistency creates confusion for children. Sticking to a consistent schedule and having firm rules and boundaries sets the expectation with your toddler. Straying from consistency can create stress because your child no longer feels like they have control environment so they respond by acting out.
- Show Them Coping Skills. An important part of dealing with temper tantrums is teaching your child how to cope with them. They might need to take some deep breaths or take a break from what’s going on. Not only will this calm them down, but they will learn to do this on their own over time.
- Stay Calm. It can be hard to maintain your composure when your toddler is losing theirs, but the best reaction is to stay calm. Losing your temper will only make it worse and will make your child it’s ok to act the same way.
When temper tantrums hit, remember it’s not intentional. Tantrums are just another part of parenting that every mom and dad experience at some point when raising a child. Recognizing how they start and how you can help your toddler cope when emotions run high, will make handling them easier in the future.
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Resources:
Kids Health. Temper Tantrums. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/tantrums.html
Mayo Clinic. Temper Tantrums in Toddlers: How to Keep the Peace. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/tantrum/art-20047845
